While cleaning up one of my many 250 GB hard drive I came across a very master document
that I used to reply to asshole posting shits in my Sex UseNet Newsgroup.

If you are working in customer relation field be free to use it or modify as needed.

Dear:
[ ] Warez pup [X] Lamer [ ] AOLer
[ ] Me too er [ ] Pervert [ ] Geek
[ ] Spammer [X] Nerd [ ] Elvis
[ ] Fed [ ] Freak [ ] Scientologist

You Are Being Flamed Because:

[ ] You Crossposted, annoying everyone
[ ] You posted something asking for warez sites
[ ] You forgot that ‘warez’ is FREE
[ ] You continued a long, stupid thread
[ ] You started an off-topic thread
[ ] You posted a “YOU ALL SUCK” message
[X] You used the FAQ like a Bible
[ ] You said “me too” to something
[ ] Your Caps Lock key is stuck
[ ] You posted a test message in an active news group
[ ] You suck.
[ ] You act like the haxor of the world
[ ] You brag about things that never happened
[ ] Your sig/alias/server sucks
[ ] You made up slang then used it in a message
[ ] You posted a phone-sex ad
[ ] I don’t like your face
[ ] I think you might be a fed

To Repent, You Must:

[ ] Be the PR guy for Canter & Siegel
[ ] Give up your AOL account
[X] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it
[ ] Jump into a bathtub while holding the back of your picture tube
[X] Actually post something relevant
[ ] Read the FAQ
[ ] Be Micheal Jackson’s love slave
[ ] Read EVERY message in alt.religion.scientology TWICE

In Closing, I’d Like to Say:

[ ] Blow me
[X] Get a life
[ ] Never post again
[ ] I pity your dog
[ ] I really pity your mother
[ ] Eat shit and die
[ ] Yer momma’s so fat/stupid/ugly that etc…
[X] Take your shit somewhere else!
[ ] All of the above

end flame

Welcome to WordPress 2.3. Following a few issues with the previous version I decieded not to simply update my version but to start fresh. I moved the sql database to a new engine and clean up the fucker. New plugins and skins will be added in the next few days too. Contact me if you see any issues.

My good hosting friends at Dreamhost (Hello Josh and Dallas) have updated their servers this summer and move me to a new box. As you can see it should help a lot! With a 500GB SAS RAID Seagate Barracuda ES.2 enterprise drive I should have enough space to add more shit to my blog :)

Dreamhost is now a Green hosting compagnie, Good move guys! Let’s help the planet a bit at the time. Like myself I have been green for years, all my pages are written on 100% reclycle electrons!! And like always if you need some hosting be free to contact me or Dreamhost!

Happy reading

Nightwish release their brand new album Dark Passion Play. It marks the beginning of a new era with new vocalist Annette Olzon onboard. For the fans the album sound 100% Nightwish but for the vocal part well it’s up to you to deciede. For my part I found it a fairy good album but not as good as their previous release Once that was probably their best album ever. The first single Amaranth that you can see the video below is the best song on the album. Only future will tell if the vocaliste choice paid off.

I went to the Tattoo convention to find myself a new professional inker and artist, since Martin (from Tattoo Kiki) and l’Artiste went on MIA I’m left to dry.  I love the old school style and I need a pro that can draw and inked. 

Even if we got a lot of tattoo shop in Montreal we don’t have a lot that can do both. Most of our tattoo shops and artist like Tattouage du Quebec, Iris and Super Rock simply SUCK big time. We have a few good like Tattoo Mania and Imago (visit Tattoo Passion for a good listing) but I figure out the convention is the place to go. 

My girl SonicVamp find her new artist that is really kick ass in her realistic medieval style, Gill the owner of Jolly Roger’s tattoo. She also got herself a tattoo from Mister P from  Ink Addict in Belgium, an old school master. I will surrely got an appointement with him too next year.

On my part I tried to grab an appointement with THE master of old school Todd Noble but the piece he did before me took him too much time. I was really sad but for sure I will reschedule for next year. I wanted him to start on my first quarter sleeve. I want a kick ass old school piece and I want the best to do it. Todd was so kind and cool. I wish Chris Garver was there too…

The last but not the least the Girls from L.A. Ink (High Voltage Tattoo) Kim Saigh and Hannah Aitchison. They where so sweet and kind we spoke with them for like an hour. I also love their style but they also where way too busy to get any work done it was crazy for them.  

 Well I will start on my arm design and see you all next year. Thanks to all.

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected childt processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.
 
Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, DrunkenBoys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications.

I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me, please!!!

Thanks,
Joe Luckystrike

Dear Joe,

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a “UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT” program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program
files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but and up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under “Warnings-Alimony/Child Support.” I  recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Failures (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE.

In any case avoid excessive use of the “Esc” key because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance.

Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a support application with Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system, especially for those of you who have not completely uninstalled Girlfriend 7.0 from their system.

Best of luck,
Cash Ondelivery

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