Old UseNet Flame Reply

While cleaning up one of my many 250 GB hard drive I came across a very master document
that I used to reply to asshole posting shits in my Sex UseNet Newsgroup.

That's a Flaming Reply

If you are working in customer relation field be free to use it or modify as needed.

Dear:
[ ] Warez pup [X] Lamer    [ ] AOLer
[ ] Me too er [ ] Pervert [ ] Geek
[ ] Spammer    [X] Nerd     [ ] Elvis
[ ] Fed        [ ] Freak    [ ] Scientologist

You Are Being Flamed Because:

[ ] You Crossposted, annoying everyone
[ ] You posted something asking for warez sites
[ ] You forgot that ‘warez’ is FREE
[ ] You continued a long, stupid thread
[ ] You started an off-topic thread
[ ] You posted a “YOU ALL SUCK” message
[X] You used the FAQ like a Bible
[ ] You said “me too” to something
[ ] Your Caps Lock key is stuck
[ ] You posted a test message in an active news group
[ ] You suck.
[ ] You act like the haxor of the world
[ ] You brag about things that never happened
[ ] Your sig/alias/server sucks
[ ] You made up slang then used it in a message
[ ] You posted a phone-sex ad
[ ] I don’t like your face
[ ] I think you might be a fed

To Repent, You Must:

[ ] Be the PR guy for Canter & Siegel
[ ] Give up your AOL account
[X] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it
[ ] Jump into a bathtub while holding the back of your picture tube
[X] Actually post something relevant
[ ] Read the FAQ
[ ] Be Micheal Jackson’s love slave
[ ] Read EVERY message in alt.religion.scientology TWICE

In Closing, I’d Like to Say:

[ ] Blow me
[X] Get a life
[ ] Never post again
[ ] I pity your dog
[ ] I really pity your mother
[ ] Eat shit and die
[ ] Yer momma’s so fat/stupid/ugly that etc…
[X] Take your shit somewhere else!
[ ] All of the above

end flame