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You Name IT, We Have IT! So ENJOY Yourself!
WTF is this? It look like a Boob Machine… but why? This is disturbing.
The title says it all. Enjoy, You’re welcome.
This is how two 12 years old Boy Scout are trying to get a Scout Badge by touching women’s breasts.
Well I did not know that Boob Massage was a new badge… It probably got introduce at the Scout Jamborgy with Fisting and Pubic Hair award.
Anyway those 2 scouts (their scouts name are probably Voyeur Beaver and Playboy Bunny) explained how they use the Internet to do their research. I understand that looking for boobs on Internet was probably really “HARD” for those two 12 years old. As Brian said: “We looked all over the Internet and those are really good” so I believe him.
Now they offer to “examine” your breast to find lumps, they will squeeze the nipple to make sure they don’t feel irregular and hope to find the lump in their pants.
They also have a nice website where you can send in your pics and learn it’s the most important thing you can do for your body.
Ladies (only young because old have experience) what are you waiting for? Like they say: Be Prepared! Get topless in Zach’s basement (it’s not a real basement because it has carpets) in order to have your breasts exams by a 12 year old. You never know you might help them find a bump!
They have my Merit badge!
So even after we tried to warn you with our Beware the dreaded “MySpace Angles” post you’ve refused to give up on the hope that your MySpace hottie is, in fact, who she says she is. After all, she’s great, right? You two talk about EVERYTHING together through instant messenger and on the phone and you get along so well. She’s really into hearing about your ten hour long gaming marathons and doesn’t mind at all that you still live with your parents. She’s absolutely perfect. And incredibly HOT as well. After all, you’ve seen the pics to prove it.
But she still continues to shy away every time you mention meeting up face-to-face. She’s always got “that thing” going on this weekend or she’s just “oh-so-super shy” and tells you “maybe next week…or something.” So what gives, huh? It almost makes you start to wonder if…well, you know.
Well, far be it from us to tell you who to love. After all, beauty is only skin deep. We didn’t write the original post to be mean-spirited at all. However, we did feel it was nothing short of our civic duty to shed some light on the oh-so-pervasive phenomenon of the MySpace Angles.
It happens every day, guys. And it could be happening to you RIGHT NOW.
We also enjoyed the comments from the ladies that felt the need to let us know that guys can be just as fraudulent in their portrayal of themselves online as young women can be. While we are ecstatic to have the feedback, we are compelled to point out that it’s not necessarily a newsflash that guys lie about themselves online. Unless you really thought that we believed every anonymous poster online was six-foot-three with chiseled muscles and a bank account that would PWN Donald Trump’s. After all, there is a reason we aren’t posting pictures of ourselves here: you’d just run away from your monitors screaming only to be found hours later huddled in a corner shivering in fright.
Yeah, we know that guys lie too. But the girls are just more fun to laugh at. Sorry, ladies. But you keep on filling our inbox, ok?
So we’ve dug a little deeper and have successfully brought to you a second installment of the infamous MySpace Angles phenomenon. These lovely ladies are well aware that they don’t quite fit the mass media-portrayed, rail-thin body type of what pop culture says they are supposed to look like. But are they shying away from all the benefits that the magic of online social networking websites can bring them? Heck no, they aren’t!
These enterprising young women are working with what they got in ways that should be admired and even celebrated. They have taken a canvas that they know most shallow, modern men would pass over and skillfully turned it into a work of art that would make Monet jealous and Da Vinci horny.
So the next time you steer your browser over to MySpace, Facebook, or any other social networking or dating site, take a real close look at the lighting in those pictures. Check out that angle shot for what it really is. Because you may be staring at what may ultimately go down in history as the perfect crime. Because whether it’s you or the next guy that comes along, someone is destined to get all the lovin’ that they can handle.
So you’ve been talking to this hot young lady that you met on MySpace, Facebook, Friendster or one of the many other social networking or dating sites that are available online and you believe you have come to a point that you are ready to meet her. You get along great and have awesome conversations over the phone and on instant messenger. You listen to the same bands and have similar interests, irks, aspirations, and idiosyncrasies. In short, it really seems like you are falling for this girl.
And her pictures. “Wow” is all you can say every time that you look at them. The way that her hair falls over her shoulder as she gives you that sultry-but-oh-so-innocent look in the photo that she sent you which drives you wild. You can hardly believe that you have found a creature that is so beautiful, yet so deep and really into your interests as well. You’ve even caught yourself feeling a little sorry that you previously held the misconception that all girls that look this great are vapid and stuck up. But now you know better and you thank the internet and your computer every day while you have endless conversations with her while staring at her photo that you have now plastered onto your desktop.
You know she’s hot. You’ve shown her picture to your friends and they think she’s hot. And now you’re ready to meet her. But are you prepared for what you may actually find?
Well, let this serve as a warning to you because you may have just fallen victim to the dreaded, “MySpace Angles.”
The MySpace Angles phenomenon isn’t one that is new but is a growing concern for men, young and old, across the globe. Photography-savvy young ladies are utilizing crafty camera angles and even photo software to weave a type of black magic onto their likenesses that would rival even the most forgiving Glamour Shots photographers of the old days. These crafty ladies will bend and conform themselves precariously to just the right position to hide those multiple chins, unsightly bulges, and possibly even hooves in the attempt to rope in unsuspecting victims across the World Wide Web.
You may tell yourself that by being diligent about asking for multiple photos you are being an alarmist and maybe even paranoid. Additionally, the fact that this phenomenon exists may even appear to be mean-spirited and just plain wrong. However, we ask you while presenting this evidence to you today: Just who is at fault here? Should you feel guilty for ensuring that the package you are presented is the package you should expect? Or are you just going to hold out until the bitter end and hope for the best?
Taking a cue from Shallow Hal, love may be blind and beauty may only be skin deep but a façade of smoke and mirrors is no way to begin a relationship and if the lovely lady of your online dreams isn’t truthful with you about herself upfront, can you be so sure you can trust her down the road?
Consider this as a public service announcement to all the would-be e-Romeos out there that are trolling the social sites looking for love: watch out, because you may be biting off more than you can chew!