A young man will spend the next 60 days in jail after stealing a beer from a convenience store in Quebec. He stole the $3.37 beer to celebrate having just gotten out of jail.

Denis Danny Roberge, a 19-year-old repeat offender, had been convicted several time for petty theft, with his last crime landing him in jail for eight months, his lawyer said.

On febuary 19th, Roberge was released from prison and, looking to celebrate, visited the Laval store. He was caught by the store’s owner as he was about to steal the beer.

The suspect then fled the scene, with the store owner chasing him. Along the way, they came across police officers and Roberge was arrested.

On Monday, lawyers for both sides agreed 60 days in jail was the shortest possible sentence for Roberge. The sentence is longer than usual because of the teen’s prior convictions. For first-time offenders, such a small theft would likely not make it to court.

Thieves have stolen a gigantic collection of ecstasy which was gathered by an enthusiast over two decades and carefully stored in display albums, police said.

A total of 2,400 tablets – collected by a man who said he did not take them but was “fascinated by the pills’ logos”. The man in the town of Eerbeek, 90 kilometres east of Amsterdam, claims he collected the pills over two decades, keeping them in coin collecting folders. They were allegedly taken during a break-in.

The pills were worth up to 12,000 euros ($19,200) and arranged in around 10 display albums normally used for coins in the man’s home, from where they were taken.

Police warned that they included a batch of 40 white and red tablets that could be lethal if taken.

“The collector claims that it was a hobby,” police spokesman Bert Top said.

“He is not risking anything at the moment,” Mr Top said, but added that authorities were mulling the possibility of prosecuting him.

Police added that collecting ecstasy in such a fashion was prohibited.

Spokeswoman Esther Naber says police believe the man is serious but can’t be sure. She said it is not clear whether the man will be charged with a crime, given that the illegal drugs have vanished.

Susan Finkelstein

What Would You Do to See Your Favorite Sports Team Play for the Championship?

Susan Finkelstein wanted to see her favorite baseball team, the Philadelphia Phillies, play in the World Series. In fact, Susan Finkelstein wanted to see them so badly, she took out an ad in Craigslist for tickets. When an undercover police officer found out exactly what Susan Finkelstein would do to get Philadelphia Phillies World Series tickets, they arrested the 43-year-old fan.

Susan Finkelstein described herself as a “gorgeous, tall, buxom blonde diehard Phillies fan” in her Craigslist ad. She also said she was the “creative type” and that she was desperate for tickets. She said, “Maybe we can help each other!” The price, she said, was negotiable.

An undercover police officer answered the ad. Susan Finkelstein then offered to perform various sex acts in exchange for tickets to the World Series. Police, according to Crimesider, did not elaborate on what kind of sexual acts Finkelstein was willing to perform to get those tickets.

Instead of tickets, Susan Finkelstein was arrested and charged with prostitution and related offenses.

Offering sex for various services isn’t a new medium of exchange. It has been used for various transactions for centuries. Craigslist and other websites, including social networking sites, have simply provided another communication conduit with which to advertise.

Doggy Style with Susan?

Finkelstein’s lawyer has said police have blown the situation out of proportion.

“All she was looking to do was take her husband to a World Series game,” he told the Burlington County Times. “I guess she was going to work out what the terms for the tickets were… It was a variation of ‘will work for food.’ It doesn’t mean she was a prostitute.’”

CNN reported in August that a young college student had traded sex in order to have someone guide her into the Amazon rainforest. A University of Michigan study of undergraduates, ages 17 – 26,found that 27% of men and 14% of women had offered favors or gifts (“help prepping for a test, laundry washing, tickets to a college football game”) in exchange for sex. The study also found that 5% men and 9% women had offered sex for services or products.

The Trunk Monkey is a revolutionary idea by Suburban Auto Group.

The Trunk Monkey Road Rage Assistant

The Trunk Monkey Tickets Negotiation

The Trunk Monkey Pediatric Edition

The Trunk Monkey Chaperon Edition

The Trunk Monkey Alien Abduction Protection System

The Trunk Monkey Vandalism Protection System

The Trunk Monkey Paramedic Edition

The Trunk Monkey Theft Retrival System

The Trunk Monkey Samurai Edition

The Trunk Monkey Office Work

The Trunk Monkey Will Do Anything to Help

Randy Lewis, Buy this Dad a Beer!

A 10-year old’s driving services were requested by 43-year old Randy Lewis (that’s actually him in the picture, he was really wearing that shirt) and Paula Elaine Evans because they were too drunk to drive themselves. Other passengers included another 10-year old and a 6-year old. However, the driver lost control of the van at 90MPH and flipped it, before it finally came to stop on its roof.

Thankfully, all five individuals where released from the hospital with minor injuries, and Lewis and Evans (the adults could have died for all I care) both went to jail for charges ranging from child endangerment and neglect to DUI, a charge which can be levied in Tennessee even if you aren’t behind the wheel. After a performance like that, we sincerely hope nobody ever buys that dad a beer ever again.

When the authorities arrived on the scene, Lewis admitted to having consumed at least 15 beers as well as somealcohol while Miss Evans pounded down as many unidentified pills as she could before police arrested her.

Wow, making a 10-year old drive you home because you’re wasted? That’s just sad. I think we can all agree here that designated drivers should at least be 11½. You know, so they can reach the pedals.

28 years old Hairdresser

A 28 years old hairdresser in Kaluga, Central Russia, locked a robber who tried to steal her money in the basement of the beauty salon. After that, she has brutally raped her hostage for three days. A court in Kaluga has filed criminal charges against both of them, the Russian website Newsru.com reports.

The 32 years’ old robber, who has not been named, burst into the salon armed with shotgun at about 17.00 on March 14. He demanded money. There were two hairdressers and one client in the salon at the time. One of hairdressers, who was studying judo and taekwondo, disabled the robber with a smashing body blow. Then she carried the unlucky robber to the basement and bound him with a hairdryer cord.

The hairdresser told her scared colleague and the client that she would call the police. But she did not. After work, instead of calling the police, she made her hostage undress. The perverted hairdresser forced the hostage to take several Viagra tablets. She chained the unfortunate robber with pink furry wristbands and painfully raped him for the next three days.

32 years old robber

After his release, the exhausted robber filed charges against the perverted woman. The frenulum of his penis was torn as a consequence of rape session.

“That’s ridiculous. We had sex just a couple times. I brought him brand new jeans. I fed him every day and gave him one thousand rubles ($25) before his release,” the hairdresser said.

In response, she filed charges against the robber.

The robber admitted that the hairdresser really did feed him royally.

“I actually don’t know what will happen to them. But it’s a pity that they could not meet in the cell. They would be a great couple,” one of the police officers said.

A man under indictment for murdering a woman and mutilating her body at his Tokyo apartment last year has pleaded guilty to the charges saying he intended to make her his sex slave.

“There is nothing wrong with the charges against me. They are all correct,” said Takanori Hoshijima, 34, a former temporary worker, as he entered his plea during his first hearing at the Tokyo District Court on Tuesday 13th January.

Since his defense counsel will not argue about his ability to be held responsible for his crime, the focal point at issue during his trial is whether there is room for leniency.

During the hearing, Hoshijima told the court that he suffered serious burns to both of the legs in his childhood.

“I’ve given up any hope to date a woman because I feared that they would feel sick (when they saw me),” he said when describing his motives behind the abduction of the victim, 23-year-old Rurika Tojo.

“I thought nobody would like my burns. I wanted to make a woman my sex slave and obedient pet,” he said in a small voice in response to a question by a prosecutor.

Hoshijima broke into Tojo’s apartment in Koto-ku, which was on the same floor as his room, immediately after she came home on April 18, 2008, to abduct her, according to prosecutors. He then allegedly threatened her with a kitchen knife and forced her into his apartment.

He unsuccessfully attempted to rape her in his room. After a police officer came searching for the woman, he decided to kill her in a bid to cover up his crime.

According to the written indictment, Hoshijima forced Tojo into his apartment with the aim of sexually assaulting her on the night of April 18 and stabbed her to death with a kitchen knife. Between April 19 and May 1, he allegedly mutilated the body with a saw and other tools, flushed some of them down the toilet and dumped others of them in the apartment’s garbage space.

Fragments of Tojo’s bones were found in nearby sewer lines. Police checked Hoshijima’s apartment on April 19, but could not find Tojo.

Hoshijima was first arrested in May on suspicion of breaking into Tojo’s apartment after his fingerprints were detected there.

His defense lawyer said his murder was not premeditated, noting that he had only intended to sexually assault her. The lawyer also claimed that he deeply regrets his crime, adding that he unsuccessfully attempted to commit suicide in his detention cell.

Dexter and Debra, a Killer Wedding

Michael C. Hall, who plays the lead role in Showtime’s Dexter, married co-star Jennifer Carpenter, who plays his sister on the television show.

They wed on New Year’s Eve in picturesque Big Sur, California. At their wedding, Carpenter’s grandfather’s beautiful, romantic, ‘I love you with all of my heart’ fucking wedding band was attached to her bouquet of white roses.

In “Dexter“, Hall plays Dexter Morgan, a Miami police analyst who moonlights as a serial killer targeting sociopaths. Carpenter plays Debra Morgan, Dexter’s adoptive sister, a tomboyish cop. “Dexter” is on cable channel Showtime.

Michael C. Hall, 37, and Jennifer Carpenter, 29,  just finished the third season of Dexter . They’ve been quietly dating for about a year and a half.

I just wonder if Carpenter answer “Fuck Yes!” when her psycho-killer fiancé pop the question…

I can bet that when ask about having a baby, Debra answered: “A baby? A motherfucking rolly-poly, chubby, cheeked, shit machine? Are you kidding me?”

Tyree Brown

SACRAMENTO, CA – You’ve heard of leaving a trail so it can be followed again later? Well, you’re not supposed to do that if you’re committing a crime.

The incident began when a security alarm went off at the Food Stop at 2101 Natomas Crossing about 4:30 New Year’s Day morning, according to Sacramento police Sgt. Norm Leong. He said when patrol officers responded, they found there had been a break-in and a number of items taken. They also noticed popcorn, in fact a trail of it, going out of the business.

Officers followed the popcorn to an apartment behind the store at 4000 Innovator Drive. When the apartment residents opened the door, Leong said police noticed the popcorn trail led into the unit.

Leong said one of the residents, Tyree Brown, was on probation. Officers conducted a probation search of the apartment and found items believed taken from the Food Stop, said Leong.

Brown, 21, was arrested on suspicion of theft and possession of stolen property. He remains in custody. Leong didn’t know if Brown was found eating the popcorn or if there was a bag of it leaking kernels.

The fake egg in cooking

In June 2003, there was a Chinese article about a consumer purchasing a bag of human-made eggs from the food market in Beijing. Although the faked eggs looked practically the same as real ones, the consumer smelled chemicals when cooking the eggs. The egg yolk dispersed quickly when it was mixed with the egg white, and the colour was pale. No flavour could be tasted after cooking. According to the officials of the National Bureau of Industry and Commerce, the faked eggs were made from chemicals.

News of human-made eggs was not confined to northern China. It was widely reported across the country. In less than a year, the faked egg industry has integrated itself into the retailing and wholesaling markets in Guangzhou. There is even a company openly teaching people the technique of manufacturing this kind of eggs.

The Process of Producing a Man-Made Egg

Evidence from Hong Kong and Guangzhou shows that the Guangzhou Bureau of Industry and Commerce identified a “faked eggs production” center and found more than ten thousands faked eggs at the centre in October 2004. That center was believed to be one of the many production centers.

A team of journalists from Hong Kong went to Guangzhou to investigate the matter. They found that there was even a “science and technology development company” teaching people how to make faked eggs out of chemicals. The course lasted for three days and cost six hundred dollars including the cost of equipments. The notes can be acquired separately at the cost of another hundred dollars. After the training, some people worked full-time to manufacture faked eggs for the market.

The chemicals used in synthesizing the faked eggs include baifan (alumen), gelatine, lactone, carboxymethyl cellulose, calcium choride, sodium alga acid, sodium benzoate, lysine, paraffin wax, calcium carbide, gypsum powder and so on. Although the chemicals used are not severely toxic, some of them post some long-term health risks when consumed or overdosed. For example, baifan (alumen) has been linked to Alzhmer’s disease if consumed for a prolonged period of time. Exposure to calcium carbide by faked egg producers due to carelessness can cause immediate irritation to the eyes and skin in the short term, while lung-irritation related bronchitis might arise in the long run.

Zhengzhou city’s local newspaper Zhengzhou Daily (Zhengzhou is the capital city of Henan province, in Central China) reported on Aug 13, 2007 that resident Mr. Wang, who’s selling food additive for many years, found that the chicken eggs he bought on night market didn’t look nature- his experience in food told him the “eggs” were made by additive!

So he caught the boss of the restaurant and asked him to tell he the truth, otherwise he will sue to the authority. The boss then reluctantly told Ms. Wang that the eggs were totally man-made, he actually didn’t make it himself but bought from a producer, and had finally told him the process of how to make fake eggs.

Mr. Wang then bought some materials – chemical food additive- and exposed to the reporter how to make fake eggs.

Additive liquor, for making egg yolk

Egg yolk is ready after concreting

Put egg white on egg yolk

You don’t need a chicken. Just combine sodium agla acid, water, gelatine, baifan, sodium benzoate, lactone, carboxymethyl cellulose, calcium carbide, lysine, food colouring agent, calcium chloride, paraffin wax, and gypsum powder.

Why make fake eggs ?

Because of money. The cost of fake egg is only 0.55 Yuan/kg ($0.08 US Dollars), while the true eggs’ market price is 5.6 Yuan/kg ($0.82 US Dollars).

The Moral of the story?

In a Communist Country what drive people is the Capitalist.

Osaka Man Maeyasu Kawamura, 60, broke the previous record set by his fellow national Shigeo Kodama who stole 4,400 pieces of lingerie which included 3,977 underpants, 355 bras and 10 pairs of stockings over a six-year period starting from 2001.

Maeyasu Kawamura, was indicted for theft by police in Osaka prefecture, western Japan. Police found more than 8,200 pieces of women’s clothing and lingerie including 2,400 pieces of lingerie, 600 kimonos and 5,200 items of other clothing all piled up high in his small apartment room.

Kawamura has confessed to stealing the items, which included a wedding dress. “He seemed to get a thrill out of sleeping covered in women’s clothes,” a police spokesman said. “He seemed to like the smell.”

The suspect admitted that he had stolen a massive amount of women’s clothes. “Over the past decade I’ve randomly stolen women’s clothes and underwear,” he was quoted as saying during questioning.

But they are not alone; a 27-year-old man, accused by police in Waukesha, Wis., (1,500 pairs of teenage girls’ shoes); Chih Hsien Wu, 43, charged in Fort Collins, Colo., (1,300 undergarments belonging to Colorado State University women); Garth Flaherty, 24, charged in Pullman, Wash., (1,500 women’s undergarments, weighing 93 pounds); Kevin Parrett, 51, sentenced in Faulkton, S.D., (800 women’s undergarments); Dan Trompke, 37, sentenced in Kearney, Neb., (more than 500 women’s undergarments) and the list goes on.

August 6th, 2008 in Hong Kong, the police received a disturbing call from a man in trouble.

Xing, a 41 year-old man, was calling from LanTian park in the middle of the night. The lonely and disturbed man had apparently thought it would be fun to have sex with one of the steel sit-up benches around the park.

The bench has numerous small holes in it, which Xing used to attempt to satisfy himself. However, once he became aroused he found that he was stuck and could not get his penis out of the small hole.

He panicked and called the police to help him.

When police arrive they found Xian stuck face down where he had been stuck for some time.

When doctors arrived on the scene they tried to release some of the pressure by removing some of his blood, but the penis was so swollen that they ended up having to cut the entire bench free and take it, with Xian attached, to the hospital.

4 painful hours later, Doctors finally separated Xian from his bench.

Doctors stated that if he had been stuck for even an hour longer, they would have had to remove his penis.

Lets just say this is probably one bad date that Xing will never forget.

Now you know why I called him, the Chinese’ Fucking Steel Man.

A man convicted of having sex with a deer carcass in October 2006 will spend another nine months in jail.

Judge Michael Lucci handed down the sentence Friday during a reconfinement hearing.

Bryan James Hathaway, 21, had his probation revoked Dec. 11 for violations that include using of alcohol and marijuana, lying to a probation agent, having contact with a minor child and sexual relations with another adult without agent approval.

Lucci also ordered six months behind bars in connection with a 2005 conviction for killing a horse. Hathaway told police he killed the animal in order to have sex with it.

The sentences run concurrently.

Hathaway had just been released from prison for the horse killing when the deer incident occurred.

Bryan James Hathaway

111While Hathaway’s attorney, Frederic Anderson, sought a four-month sentence for the probation violations, Lucci noted this was not the first time probation was revoked in connection with the horse killing. He followed recommendations made by the District Attorney’s office.

Hathaway is currently appealing his conviction in connection with the deer incident. The appeal hinges on whether sex with a dead animal meets the criteria of law and whether statements made to a probation agent in front of a police officer influenced statements Hathaway made to the officer.

That will make me slow down!