The latest chapter in the PG PORN series and by far the better. Watch Jenna Haze and Joe Fria in the PG PORN that was TOO HOT for Spike.com! For the first time ever, here it is, in Higher Def, and completely UNCENSORED.

The 25-year-old has now ballooned in weight to 223kg (490 pounds) after eating enough ice-cream, cakes and pizzas to reach the height of sexual pleasure.

She suffers from a medical condition called persistent genital arousal syndrome, where orgasms are triggered without direct sexual arousal.

In extreme cases, sufferers of the condition experience 300 orgasms a day.

She first noticed something unusual was happening as she tucked into a tub of ice-cream.

‘My friends thought I was making it up,’ said Miss Jones, of Colorado, ‘I was stunned but in no doubt of what had happened.’

She has put on 95kg (210 pounds) in the past five years as she gorged and climaxed.

She decided to profit from her affliction by setting up a fetish website where punters pay to watch her scoff herself to orgasm.

A young man will spend the next 60 days in jail after stealing a beer from a convenience store in Quebec. He stole the $3.37 beer to celebrate having just gotten out of jail.

Denis Danny Roberge, a 19-year-old repeat offender, had been convicted several time for petty theft, with his last crime landing him in jail for eight months, his lawyer said.

On febuary 19th, Roberge was released from prison and, looking to celebrate, visited the Laval store. He was caught by the store’s owner as he was about to steal the beer.

The suspect then fled the scene, with the store owner chasing him. Along the way, they came across police officers and Roberge was arrested.

On Monday, lawyers for both sides agreed 60 days in jail was the shortest possible sentence for Roberge. The sentence is longer than usual because of the teen’s prior convictions. For first-time offenders, such a small theft would likely not make it to court.

Enjoy the 100 best FAIL of 2009.

This is the 2009 Annual Report on Humanity by JibJab.com. 2009 was rich in note-worthy and ridiculously events and people. Including the economy, GM bailout, the swine flu, Barac Obama, John and Kate, Michael Phelps, Octomom, Ballon boy, Tiger Woods, Susan Boyle etc…

This post is dedicated to the King of Pop Michael Jackson and to a marketting genious: Billy Mays.

Happy 2010!

Miss Teen USA 2007 – South Carolina Caitlin Upton

Miss USA 2009 – California Carrie Prejean

The Miss Teen USA pageant was held on Friday night, and during the crucial question-from-the-panel segment at the end, Miss Teen South Carolina, Lauren Caitlin Upton, totally choked when she was asked why Americans are unable to locate the U.S. on a map. The poor dear rambles on about “The Iraq” and South Africa. Props to A.C. Slater, who managed not to laugh in her face, although you can tell he desperately wanted to. Ironically, as bumbling as her response was, it sort of answered the question: Because Americans are stupid! Needless to say, South Carolina did not win the title.

Miss California is not backing down from the answer regarding gay marriage she gave on Sunday night’s Miss USA telecast.

Carrie Prejean told FOXNews.com that she had “no regrets” and was happy with the answer she gave when a Miss USA judge, the gossip blogger Perez Hilton, asked about her stance on same-sex marriage.

“I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman,” she said on the live broadcast. “No offense to anybody out there, but that’s how I was raised.”

One person who was offended was Keith Lewis, co-director the Miss California competition, which Prejean won to make it into the Miss USA pageant. Lewis told FOXNews.com that he was “saddened” by Prejean’s statement.

“I am personally … hurt that Miss California believes marriage rights belong only to a man and a woman,” said Lewis in a statement.

Co-director Shanna Moakler, best know as Travis Barker’s wife in the MTV reality show “Meet the Barkers,” said that she fully supported Lewis’ condemnation of Prejean’s views.

Blogger Perez Hilton was also enraged, calling Prejean a “stuipd b***h” in a video tirade he aired on his blog.

But the backlash is having little affect on Prejean, 21, she says.

“I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I stated an opinion that was true to myself, and that’s all I can do,” she told Billy Bush, who hosted Miss USA, on his radio talk show on Monday.

“It did cost me my crown,” Prejean continued. “It is a very touchy subject and [Hilton] is a homosexual, and I see where he was coming from and I see the audience would’ve wanted me to be more politically correct. But I was raised in a way that you can never compromise your beliefs and your opinions for anything.”

“I feel like I won,” she said. “I feel like I’m the winner. I really do.”

Prejean also said that her sister, a second lieutenant in the United States Air Force, and a supporter of gay marriage, was not offended by her answer.

“She was just in my hotel room and she said, ‘Sis, I’m not offended by anything that you said. We have two different opinions and I love you because of it. I love you because you stood up for what was right, and it’s not a matter of being gay or not gay, it’s a matter of you competing for Miss USA and getting a question and answering it to the best of your ability.”

Miss California’s answer sparked a shouting match in the lobby after the show.

“It’s ugly,” said Scott Ihrig, a gay man, who attended the pageant with his partner. “I think it’s ridiculous that she got first runner-up. That is not the value of 95 percent of the people in this audience. Look around this audience and tell me how many gay men there are.”

Charmaine Koonce, the mother of Miss New Mexico USA Bianca Matamoros-Koonce, argued back.

“In the Bible it says marriage is between Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!”

The winner, Miss North Carolina Kristen Dalton, a 22-year-old aspiring motivational speaker and entertainer from Wilmington, edged out Prejean and second runner-up, Miss Arizona USA Alicia-Monique Blanco, of Phoenix.

Merry Christmas

Still wandering what to give for Christmas this year? It’s not an easy one, with the economic recession everyone is trying to work with a tight budget.

Still your kids are asking you for Guitar Hero 5 but you don’t have money? I have the PERFECT gift for you. It’s called: an Air Guitar! It’s cheap, easy to play, unbreakable, does not required batteries.

If you want to invest a bit (around 20$) you can go with a Guitar Hero Air Guitar kit.

You want to go with the Band kit? You can also have Air Drum.

If you sing, the Air Singing.

What are you waiting for? Start your Air Band now and you may end up on national TV or even in front on thousand of peoples in Finland for the World Championship.

If you can’t find any Air Guitar in your local store, you can buy it directly from me for only 1.99$ Canadian (it’s $1.87 USD)! Yes an ORIGINAL Air Guitar for only 1.99$ or the combo Air Guitar + Air Drum for only 2.99$ and the full Air Band Kit including guitar, drum, vocal and bass for a super low price of 4.99$!! FREE SHIPPING Worldwide in less then 30 seconds.

Good luck to you and Merry Christmas!

Top 10 things a woman would do if she woke up with a penis for a day

10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.

09. Get a blow job.

08. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.

07. Pee standing up while talking to other men at the urinal.

06. Determine why you can’t hit the bowl consistently.

05. Find out what it’s like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.

04. Touch/shift yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may be to others.

03. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.

02. Understand the reason for the light refraction that occurs between a man’s eyes and the ruler situated next to his member.

01. Repeat number 9.

This is the Top 10 things men would do if they woke up and had a vigina for a day:

10. Immediately go shopping for zuchini and cucumbers.

09. Squat over a hand mirror for an hour and a half.

08. See if they finally do the splits.

07. See if ti’s truly possible to launch Ping-Pong ball 20 feet.

06. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

05. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes before closing time.

04. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.

03. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.

02. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for bigger breasts, too.

01. Finally find that damned G-Spot.

Evgeni Plushenko is a Russian figure skater. He is the 2006 Winter Olympics gold medalist, three-time World Champion, five-time European Champion, a four-time Grand Prix Final gold medalist and a seven-time Russian National Champion.

In March 2009 Plushenko announced that he had returned to training with longtime coach Alexei Mishin in order to prepare for the 2010 Olympics. I know some ladies that will watch figure skating.

This is a better quality video from 2005 Europeens finals.

This is some of the ugliest Halloween costumes seen this year.

Wonder Woman

Spiderman

Gay Bunny Costume

A Fat Paris Hilton

FAIL Baby Costume

Creepy Michael Jackson Mask

FAIL Product Placement: Halloween Costumes and Chainsaw

Each girl is given a 15cm long by 5cm wide ice cylinder with an olive in the middle. They can only use their body to melt the ice and free the olive. This is why I miss college.

This is something I have been saying for years, sports fans are the same type of peoples as the sci-fi geeks.

My kind of cookies

43 peoples like this

My Goate is not stupid!

A car with Stains

It’s a new moon

A test confirms it, AC-DC ROCK!

Single does not equal Available

Good security question

Somebody’s having a little fun in the Website management department at Sears. Found in the Human Cooking section and the Grills to Cook Babies and More subsection is the Body Part Roaster. Mmm, baby! TMZ first reported the goof, which listed any grill under “Human Cooking”. Here’s a link to the page that Sears quickly fixed. And here’s what it looked like for a brief period yesterday:

There might have just been a bit of space dust on the website, however. It really meant to say “Grills to Cook for Babies and More”. You know, cause it’s a cooking website! And despite the quick fix, you can still Google it:

We can’t stop the progress, another mystery solved by technology. Infrared camera from an airport now allows us to see for the first time the smelly invisible gas. We knew it was there, we could smell, we could light it, but never before it have been seen! Behold the FART.

This is what can happen if you are from the Leet family and your daughter wants to go out with a Noob.

Loose weight with the Shake Weight, every women should have one.

Girl with 56 stars tattooed on face admits she asked for them.

A teenage girl who claimed 56 stars were tattooed on her on her face as she slept when she asked for three has admitted she was awake the whole time – and lied because her father was “furious”.

Kimberley Vlaminck had insisted she dozed off after asking the tattooist for just three small stars – then woke in horror to find her face was covered.

The Belgian blamed the Flemish-speaking tattooist for not being able to understand her French and English instructions.

Girl has 56 stars tattooed on face after ‘falling asleep’ Amid a frenzy of media attention, she then said she would sue the tattoo artist, Rouslan Toumaniantz, for the £9,000 she needed for laser surgery to have them removed.

She said after the tattooing last week: “It is terrible for me. I cannot go out on to the street. I look like a freak.”

But the 18-year-old has finally confessed she did not fall asleep, that she wanted all the stars and was “fully aware” of what Mr Toumaniantz was doing.

Ms Vlaminck told a Dutch TV crew: “I asked for 56 stars and initially adored them. But when my father saw them, he was furious. So I said I fell asleep and the that the tattooist made a mistake.”

Mr Toumaniantz – himself covered from head to foot in tattoos and piercings – had consistently denied he had made a mistake and always insisted Vlaminck wanted all 56 stars.

He said at the time: “I maintain that she absolutely agreed that I tattoo those 56 stars on the left side of her face.”

But despite insisting she had asked for 56 stars, he still initially agreed to pay for half of the treatment to remove the tattoos.

“Kimberley is unhappy and it is not my wish to have an unsatisfied client,” he said.

“I don’t regret it. To tell you the truth, this has given me some publicity.” Mr Toumanaintz is now said to have withdrawn his cash offer and said from now on he will get written consent from clients before he begins tattooing.

As for Ms Vlaminck she could always go work for STARbuck!

A Belgian teenager says she will sue a tattoo parlour which she said covered half her face with stars while she was asleep.

Kimberley Vlaeminck, 18, was left sporting 56 black stars of various sizes on the left side of her face, from nose to ear and brow to chin.

The young housewife said she had gone to the tattoo parlour in the western town of Courtrai and asked for three small stars on her face.

“I wanted him to tattoo on just three little points but he suggested three stars saying it would look prettier,” Vlaeminck told local press.

“When he started the tattooing I didn’t want to feel the pain and so I went to sleep. I had got up at five in the morning,” she said.

Kimberly thinks she must have dozed off as her face was being injected with ink contained in a huge vibrating needle held by a foreigner.

“I woke up when he was starting to tattoo my nose and I saw what he had already done. I counted 56 stars, it’s frightening,” she told the Flemish daily Het Laatste Nieuws.

The young woman, who said she doesn’t dare walk down the street, has decided to sue the tattoo parlour.

She said she also hoped to have her starry appearance reversed by laser treatment, which would cost thousands of euros.

Tattoo artist Rouslan Toumaniantz denied that his client had fallen asleep. But still agreed to pay for the laser treatment.

“She was awake the whole time, I don’t use hypnosis or drugs. She agreed to it. The problems started when her father and his friend saw the tattoos,” he told the paper.

If its any CONSTELLATION (ha ha) it doesn’t look too bad. I can predicts she will be seeing stars for years to come…

IT’S A BIRD! IT’S A PLANE! It’s JibJab’s very first satire of President Barack Obama (and he’s come to save the day)! JibJab done it again, they transformed Obama into a super-hero. Sweet.

Triumph Lingerie in Japan, are finally making eco-friendly underwear. Apparently their new solar powered bra is a must for the energy-saving female. The only problem is that clothes can’t be worn over it. Wait… is that a problem? Other kooky designs include the ‘husband hunting bra’ and the one which is decorated with fake food and has a pouch to carry your chopsticks in.

Obviously this video is solid enough what with all the giant condoms being blown up to help the fans sing some chant song. But it’s that the guy filming this this is American.

You keep hearing him say “wonderful” towards the end. I assume his love for the Japanese mirrors mine. Only this guy is well ahead of me because he actually made the trip there.

Tell you what readers, if you each send me a buck and fund my trip, I will go on Japan and make 10 amazing videos to post on this site.

Deal?

Did you know that Slow Loris loves to have its arms and belly scratched ? We didn’t even know what a slow loris was before this video but either they like having their arms scratched or they can’t put them down. Either way, this video of a slow loris being pet is really really adorable. There has been some talk that they are an endangered species but even if they aren’t, we don’t recommend getting one as a pet.

The Trunk Monkey is a revolutionary idea by Suburban Auto Group.

The Trunk Monkey Road Rage Assistant

The Trunk Monkey Tickets Negotiation

The Trunk Monkey Pediatric Edition

The Trunk Monkey Chaperon Edition

The Trunk Monkey Alien Abduction Protection System

The Trunk Monkey Vandalism Protection System

The Trunk Monkey Paramedic Edition

The Trunk Monkey Theft Retrival System

The Trunk Monkey Samurai Edition

The Trunk Monkey Office Work

The Trunk Monkey Will Do Anything to Help

This poor MSNBC anchor was just trying to report on the story about some little kids at a daycare surviving a tornado in Windsor, Colorado but instead of talking to someone live, all you can hear is a producer swearing and screaming. Yikes! We hope they enjoyed their career while it lasted…

This is some of the funniest classified ads ever posted. Too damn funny.

Sloche is a frozen beverage sold by the convenience store chain Couche-Tard, mostly in the province of Quebec, Canada. While it is similar in concept to the traditional Slush Puppie, Sloche has gathered much publicity through an aggressive (and sometimes controversial) marketing campaign. The oversized Sloche plastic cups are covered with humorous slogans such as: “No animal has tasted this product before you”, “A good source of crushed ice”. It is also Quebec’s equivalent to Icee, which is only sold in the United States, English Canada and Mexico.

All Sloche flavor names are humorous and often gross, a marketing decision aimed at pleasing a mostly teenager crowd. The brand mission was described as: “To satisfy their need for sensory gratification and protest against authority, parents and society.”

As for the product itself; Couche Tard invested over 1 millions dollars to came up with the perfect Slush, with colors that are vivid and a taste much sweeter and intense that of Slush Puppy. But the biggest improvement they made, was the overall quality, Slush have an intense taste at first and quickly you end up with simply melting crushed ice. Well Sloche is a perfect product, it taste the same up to the last drop and ice take more time to melt. It cost more but is by far a better product.

I’m talking about Sloche because their latest ad campaign featuring clowns, is their most controversial to date. You to judge.

Sloche 10th Anniversary – It taste funny (Butcher)

Sloche 10th Anniversary – It taste funny (Shredder)

Cheddar Tropical (Tropical Cheddar) Net

Cheddar Tropical (Tropical Cheddar) Darts

Cheddar Tropical (Tropical Cheddar) Hole

Gadoue (Dirty melted snow) Tasting

Gadoue (Dirty melted snow) Filling

Goudron Sauvage (Wild Tar)

Liposuccion (Liposuction)

Swompe (Swamp) Frog

Swompe (Swamp) Firefly

That is a really interesting tire repair method.

Is there anything that WD-40 and a lighter can’t fix? If there exists such a thing, just torch it all with your mini flamethrower. Problem solved.

This is the 2008 Annual Report on Humanity by JibJab.com, in which a group of angels recap all the ridiculous, note-worthy and ridiculously note-worthy events and people of 2008. Happy 2009!

If you have a lot of spare time and a lot of microwaves this is what can happen.

The original Whassup? commercial from 2000.

Whassup in 2008? A spoof of the previous 2000 campaign to depict his critical view of the Republican Party’s 8 years in the White House and to support the presidential campaign of Barack Obama.

Not new but always a South Park CLASSIC.

Merry Fucking Xmas to all!

Now I know where kids come from!

It’s fun, funny, stupid, disturbing, painfull and unbelivable. You’ll never need another video for laughing at other people’s misery. Half an hour of pain and destruction. Yes please.

Really helpful tips, I didn’t realise my preconception about handling babies are all wrong, I am so grateful and thankful to have these picture advices to teach and enlighten me, so touched.. thank you so much, thank you, master baby handler!!!

Lifting Baby	Nursing Baby	Testing Baby's Bottle
Feeding Baby	Checking Diaper	Changing Diaper
Containing Baby	Bundling Baby	Waking Baby
Fun Games for Baby	Buckling Up Baby	Walking with Baby
Shopping with Baby	Playing with Baby	Exercising Baby
Massaging Baby	Washing Baby	Drying Baby
Helping Baby Teethe	Calming Baby	Stimulating Baby
Bonding with Baby	Making Baby Smile	Introducing to Pets
Clearing Baby's Nose	Putting Baby to Bed	Babyproofing Home
Choosing a Babysitter

Another Japaneses show where they spin 2 peoples until they get dizzy, then they are ask to engage in boxing other over a pool, winner must swim and then roll in snow.

This is the 2007 Annual Report on Humanity by JibJab.com, in which a group of angels recap all the ridiculous, note-worthy and ridiculously note-worthy events and people of 2007. Britney Spears, Alberto Gonzalez, the iPhone and so much more; this funny video greeting has it all. Happy 2008!

This one is going in my shopping list! A brand new elmo!

Topless table tennis. The title says it all.

A sexy webcam girl in a schoolgirl skirt starts her latest webcam broadcast. But, it soon takes an interesting turn…. Probably fake but still worth watching.

Some peoples told me the my previous deep throat post was fake, that it was an illusion. Well this one is from another is filmed from another angle.

BTW if you think she deflate the balloon as she goes down, well do you think you can deflate a sword?

Clowns are funny and makes good ballon blowjobs.

If you think my Halloween costume sucks then look at those.

Father & Son	Irwin & Stingray	Alien & Baby
Old Hag	Robot Sex	Wine Tasting

Another 70s classic kids tv show, but this one is SOOOO funny I’m crying I can’t stand it… “Well, have you got your twangers out? And remember, you can bounce your balls at the same time if you like. Or if you haven’t got any balls, you could ask a friend, if you can play with his.”

While cleaning up one of my many 250 GB hard drive I came across a very master document
that I used to reply to asshole posting shits in my Sex UseNet Newsgroup.

That's a Flaming Reply

If you are working in customer relation field be free to use it or modify as needed.

Dear:
[ ] Warez pup  [X] Lamer    [ ] AOLer
[ ] Me too er  [ ] Pervert  [ ] Geek
[ ] Spammer    [X] Nerd     [ ] Elvis
[ ] Fed        [ ] Freak    [ ] Scientologist

You Are Being Flamed Because:

[ ] You Crossposted, annoying everyone
[ ] You posted something asking for warez sites
[ ] You forgot that ‘warez’ is FREE
[ ] You continued a long, stupid thread
[ ] You started an off-topic thread
[ ] You posted a “YOU ALL SUCK” message
[X] You used the FAQ like a Bible
[ ] You said “me too” to something
[ ] Your Caps Lock key is stuck
[ ] You posted a test message in an active news group
[ ] You suck.
[ ] You act like the haxor of the world
[ ] You brag about things that never happened
[ ] Your sig/alias/server sucks
[ ] You made up slang then used it in a message
[ ] You posted a phone-sex ad
[ ] I don’t like your face
[ ] I think you might be a fed

To Repent, You Must:

[ ] Be the PR guy for Canter & Siegel
[ ] Give up your AOL account
[X] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it
[ ] Jump into a bathtub while holding the back of your picture tube
[X] Actually post something relevant
[ ] Read the FAQ
[ ] Be Micheal Jackson’s love slave
[ ] Read EVERY message in alt.religion.scientology TWICE

In Closing, I’d Like to Say:

[ ] Blow me
[X] Get a life
[ ] Never post again
[ ] I pity your dog
[ ] I really pity your mother
[ ] Eat shit and die
[ ] Yer momma’s so fat/stupid/ugly that etc…
[X] Take your shit somewhere else!
[ ] All of the above

end flame