A fourteen-year-old boy was killed after the chair he was sitting on exploded, propelling sharp chair parts into his rectum, causing extensive bleeding, which he succumbed to before medical attention could stem the flow.

The accident occurred when the boy was alone, sitting on the chair (which was for PC use); he managed to overcome the pain and call his father, who summoned an ambulance, but it took an hour to get him to hospital, by which time it was too late for him.

The chair in question was a standard gas cylinder type, where the height is regulated by an adjustable cylinder containing highly pressurized gas, and it was this which exploded, sending high velocity chair parts into the posterior of the unfortunate youth.

The illustrated chair shows the severity of such a cylinder malfunction

In fact, it seems a spate of such incidents were reported at the hospital – 3 such injuries caused by exploding chairs were reported this month, perhaps indicating an influx of poorly manufactured chairs into the area. In 2007 a similar accident also propelled a 20cm part into the rear of a 68-year-old man, who suffered a severe 5cm wound; he survived.

We do not hear where the chair parts in question were made, though of course with the accident occurring in China it is likely there that they were made.

Three factors are implicated in such accidents:

1. The gas in the cylinder is contaminated with gases other than nitrogen.
2. The materials used in the cylinder are deficient, reducing the durability of the part.
3. The cylinder is not completely airtight.
Oil based hydraulic devices are said to be safer, but most such chairs on the market today use gas cylinders; naturally these tend to be made in China, where this accident occurred.

The boy in question weighed 80kg (certainly a fair amount for a 14-year-old Asian youth), which might have been a factor (though this will not reassure heavier framed non-Asian adults); it is suggested that using such chairs without placing excessive pressure on the cylinder is advisable – otherwise sitting on a steel plate might help.

Randy Lewis, Buy this Dad a Beer!

A 10-year old’s driving services were requested by 43-year old Randy Lewis (that’s actually him in the picture, he was really wearing that shirt) and Paula Elaine Evans because they were too drunk to drive themselves. Other passengers included another 10-year old and a 6-year old. However, the driver lost control of the van at 90MPH and flipped it, before it finally came to stop on its roof.

Thankfully, all five individuals where released from the hospital with minor injuries, and Lewis and Evans (the adults could have died for all I care) both went to jail for charges ranging from child endangerment and neglect to DUI, a charge which can be levied in Tennessee even if you aren’t behind the wheel. After a performance like that, we sincerely hope nobody ever buys that dad a beer ever again.

When the authorities arrived on the scene, Lewis admitted to having consumed at least 15 beers as well as somealcohol while Miss Evans pounded down as many unidentified pills as she could before police arrested her.

Wow, making a 10-year old drive you home because you’re wasted? That’s just sad. I think we can all agree here that designated drivers should at least be 11½. You know, so they can reach the pedals.

Wonderful individual customer service, each transaction is done by hand

You all heard about the world situation, those are HARD times. But a Bank in China is willing to go the extra miles to make sure you give them ALL you got. They will give you a hand to help you get some relieved out of all your HARD moments and they will even PAY you for the trouble. They offer wonderful individual customer service, making sure each transaction is done by hand not with a computer. They want to make sure you will be Cumming again and again.

This is how it works: first you need to go for a health check, then 4 days prior your visit to the “free-hand-job-then-get-paid-paradise” you must abstain from sex and masturbation. You can go 4-5 times a month, and each time you will get maximum 3 hand jobs. You will also get paid RMB200 ( US$30 ) at the end of each session for your kindness.

Before you ask, I don’t know if it’s possible to make mouth deposits.

They will give you a hand, making sure they get all you've got

Address for whoever wants to give it a go: No 145 Shan Dong Zhong Lu, Ren Ji Hospital, Building 1, 7th FL, near Fu Zhou Lu, Shanghai, China.

So last month we broke the story about how one lonely, Viagra induced, Hong Kong resident almost lost his penis trying to make love to a metal bench.

It would appear the news did not reach one poor Malaysian man, who in an effort to increase his size, put a heavy welding nut on his penis and then accidentally got an erection which almost lead to him losing his penis.

The unnamed welder in his 20’s was attempting to lengthen his penis before his engagement next week by placing a heavy welding nut on then end of his penis in hopes it would stretch him out and make him longer.

During the process he gave himself an erection which caused the nut to become stuck on his penis, forcing him to call for help.

Fire and Rescue arrived on the scene but where unable to assist the man and were forced to take him to the hospital.

Sultanah Aminah hospital staff had to removed the top layer of his penis in order to get the welding nut off the poor guys penis.

Have to give it to this guy.. he had nuts of steel.

Vicar's Sex Toy

The clergyman, in his 50s, told nurses he had been hanging curtains when he fell backwards on to his kitchen table.

He happened to be nude at the time of the mishap, said the vicar, who insisted he had NOT been playing a sex game.

The vicar had to undergo a delicate operation to extract the vegetable, one of a range of odd items medics in

Sheffield have had to remove from people’s backsides or genitals.

Others include a can of deodorant, a cucumber, a Russian doll – and a carnation.

Speaking of the vicar, A & E nurse Trudi Watson, of Sheffield’s Northern General Hospital, said: “He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in the kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.

“But it’s not for me to question his story. He had to undergo surgery to have it removed.”

She advised anyone tempted to use such objects in sex games to think again.

“It can be very dangerous and potentially life-threatening,” she said.

“Surgery can lead to infection, nasty scarring, and it could possibly end up with the person having to use a colostomy bag as a result.”

A hospital trust spokeswoman in Sheffield said: “Like all busy hospitals we do see some unusual accidents.

“But our staff deal with them in a discreet, professional and kind way.”

August 6th, 2008 in Hong Kong, the police received a disturbing call from a man in trouble.

Xing, a 41 year-old man, was calling from LanTian park in the middle of the night. The lonely and disturbed man had apparently thought it would be fun to have sex with one of the steel sit-up benches around the park.

The bench has numerous small holes in it, which Xing used to attempt to satisfy himself. However, once he became aroused he found that he was stuck and could not get his penis out of the small hole.

He panicked and called the police to help him.

When police arrive they found Xian stuck face down where he had been stuck for some time.

When doctors arrived on the scene they tried to release some of the pressure by removing some of his blood, but the penis was so swollen that they ended up having to cut the entire bench free and take it, with Xian attached, to the hospital.

4 painful hours later, Doctors finally separated Xian from his bench.

Doctors stated that if he had been stuck for even an hour longer, they would have had to remove his penis.

Lets just say this is probably one bad date that Xing will never forget.

Now you know why I called him, the Chinese’ Fucking Steel Man.